Monday, July 8, 2013

Bombs Away

Why bombs away you ask?  Well because that is what I have been doing the past week....bombing.  Bombing my low carb diet, bombing getting my body fit for fertility, bombing the promise I made to my husband & dr, just bombing!  This carboholic fell off the wagon and had waaaayyyy to many carbs.

If I want to make excuses for myself, I could and I have, but at the end of the day, the excuses produce negative results, not positive ones.  Making excuses makes me feel dumpy.  Somebody that feels dumpy can't get fit.  So, here's to no excuses, here's to owning up to it.  I ate way too many carbs!  I blew it!  There, I owned it.  Now, I'm back in the saddle today and I am STARVING!!!!  I had an Atkins bar for breakfast, string cheese for morning snack, Vi-Shake for lunch, grapes for afternoon snack.  Still have 30 minutes before I have to leave work and I am STARVING!!  I have had 60 oz of water so far, I know, I should have had 80 by now.  I am currently chewing a piece of gum and that isn't helping much.

Life has been crazy lately.  On June 30th, Aaron was voted in as pastor at New Hope Baptist Church in Kinston NC.  My downfall started on June 29th.  There was a covered dish supper at the church for a meet and greet.  I was really good with what I was getting on my plate.  Everybody kept telling me to get dessert & I kept declining.  My darling husband told me that I had to eat some dessert or I was going to offend people.  You DON'T tell a carboholic with a HIGH A1C to eat dessert.  A piece of pound cake & strawberry cheesecake decided it wanted me to eat it.  Then everyone fixed us a to go plate...desserts to take home.

Since we are moving at the end of this month, we have been making the rounds at our favorite restaurants.  Tuesday night I had lasagna at Mama's Pizza....honestly, it didn't taste as good as I remembered (could just be that after 5 weeks of no pasta, that I had built it up in my mind).  Thursday night at the fireworks I had 2 hot dogs, on the bun, pepsi, and ice cream.  Friday night was the holy grail.....pizza from La Casetta...no worries, after 5 weeks, it was better than I remembered and then some!  Saturday night was Chinese buffet (can we say 2 small bowls of fried rice AND ice cream).  Yesterday's lunch was San Jose, chips, chips, chips, and steak quesadilla (I ordered the plate, not knowing it came with 2 quesadillas)  I ate all but the big bite I shared with Aaron.  And last night's supper was leftover pizza.  There, I have gained 3 pounds and I am starving today.  Did I by any chance mention to you that I am starving.

Oh yeah, I guess I said that we were moving.  Yes, we are.  Aaron turned in his resignation yesterday.  He will preach at Community Center thru July 28th and our plan is to start moving on July 29th.  He will start August 1st at New Hope, with August 4th being his first day in the pulpit.  He's really excited and looking forward to it.  I do believe he plans on going in there with his feet firmly on the ground and ready to run, which in my opinion is the way to go.  Time will tell.  Prayers are greatly appreciated as we make this transition in our life.

I go back to the OB/GYN tomorrow.  Let's hope that her scales show a definite drop in weight.  I would really like for them to be 2-3 pounds lighter than when I was last there, but with with 3 pounds I gained since Thursday, I just don't see that happening.

Break time is over, time to start this treacherous, twisting climb again.  See you around the curve.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Fit for Fertility

I stole today's title from a facebook group I have found.

To start with.....
I can't believe that it has been OVER A MONTH since my last post.  I have GOT to become better DISCIPLINED.  Let me rephrase that....I WILL BECOME BETTER DISCIPLINED!!!

On the FERTILITY topic.....
I went to the OB/GYN last month like I said I was.  To start off with, she put me on Progesterone (hormones).  Let me tell you right now....for the 10 days I was taking, I felt WONDERFUL.  I was the old me again.  I was sleeping good, I was focused, I had energy, and I was just overall a happy person.  She ordered bloodwork (and this is where the downfall starts.....)  We have had to exit off of our current route and start a new journey.  My blood work was NOT good. :(  Everything is way out of whack and I am borderline diabetic.  So needless to say, baby making isn't in the cards right now.  Right now, the goal is to keep me alive and get me healthy.  She referred me to a nutritionist (which I go to tomorrow morning) and told me she definitely wants me on a low carb diet.  I have lost 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks and I do feel better.  I also started taking a birth-control pill 2 weeks ago.  That is to keep me from getting pregnant right now, as well as to try to get me ovulating monthly.  I can honestly say for the first time in several years, I am having a period for the 3rd month in a row.  Getting my numbers back and seeing how bad they were really scared me, but I think it finally gave Aaron and I both a wake up call that we needed.  He knows and understands that I can't do it by myself and he is cutting back as well.

And DietBet..........
I lost last month's bet .1.  Yes, you read that right point one as in one tenth of a pound.  That really broke my heart but has given me much needed motivation.  We surprised Aaron's parents that beginning of the month and went up there for his dad's 70th birthday.  5 days on the road and mountain food plus fast food, I gained 3 pounds.  I can say that I have gotten what I gained back off plus a couple more pounds.  That gain really hurt me as far as this month's dietbet goes.  I have to lose 4.2 pounds by next Wednesday to reach this month's goal.  I honestly don't see it happening, but will do my best and try my hardest.  I have to start back running & walking ASAP!!!  I have my first 5k in September and I haven't walked in 2 weeks.  I know that as soon as I start back, I can start dropping some more pounds, but I just can't seem to get motivated.

Well this a very bumpy ride with a steep incline, so I better jump off here and start the climb.  Hopefully we have eased over most of it will start to be smoother sailing soon.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

New Chapter

Oh wow.  It has been 9 months since I've lasted posted.  I guess that let's you know the way things have been going.  The weight loss is still a see-saw.  I lose 3 pounds and then gain 5, that sorta thing.  I have gotten refocused this month and am doing better, staying consistent.  I have started doing DietBet.  I started it in the beginning of April with my friend Rebecca.  The first half of the month I was doing good, but then I fell completely off the wagon.  It really stung that I had paid money to lose weight and then at the end of the "bet" weighed more that I when i started.  I started a new "bet" for the month of May.  My 4% goal for May is 8.6 pounds.  I gained a little over Mother's Day weekend with cookouts and family dinners, but I have stayed consistent and got that off, plus some more.  I currently have 12 days left in this bet and I have 1.5 pounds to go to make it.  I WILL DO IT!!

On a different note - Aaron turned 37 at the beginning of the month.  As he keeps reminding me that he's not getting any younger, I scheduled an appointment with my OB/GYN to start the fertility testing.  I have PCOS and don't ovulate and have periods.  I have been really bad about going, because I don't want to face the music.  I thought it had only been 2 years since I went, but was shocked to find out that I haven't been in 4 years.  Of course she jumped on my about my weight gain - 45 pounds since I was last there.  I go tomorrow for blood work and start taking hormone pills tonight.  My weight is something that I've got to get under control and we are going to start having appointments about my diet and nutrition.  With all of my health problems and medications, I know the weight is just making it worse and making it harder to get pregnant, if I even can.  To quote Dr Knuckles - I "have to get my body ready to fight, because it is going to be a fight to get pregnant".  She is really hoping that if I get some of the weight off, that I can get off of some of my meds.  And honestly, I think she is right and hoping it does as well.  

I know that I am going to have "bad" days where I want junk & pizza, and that's ok.  As long as I work hard, it's ok to "treat" myself some.  I know that I am going to have days when I gain, and that's ok to.  I just can't let a gain get me off track like I normally do.  When I have a gain, I just know that i have to work that much harder to get it back off.

 This is just the ammunition I need to keep me focused and on track.  I am going to continue to do DietBet's because money is great motivation.  Getting healthier and feeling better about myself is great motivation.  Having a baby is great motivation!  If I can't do it with all of these motivators, I don't know what can make me do it.

Since we are now traveling a new road that I haven't traveled before, I better get off here and pay attention to the road.  While flying around the curves, I will be working on my curves!  Wave when you pass me!!

Happy Birthday Mama!!!  I love you!!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Life in the fast lane

Wow.....It's been over a month since I last posted.  I guess you know that means I haven't been "good"  That is changing starting today!!  Let me update you first on what has been going on....

On June 29th, my nephew was born 16 weeks early, weighing 1 pound, 10 oz, and 9 inches long.  Luckily for me, he was transported to Greenville.  He is still in NICU, has gained a full pound and grown 4 inches.  He is still in an incubator and on a respirator.  My lunch breaks have been spent at the hospital visiting with him.  It also means that my family has been in Greenville alot and we've been going out to eat quite a bit.  Not good for me at all!!

We had Vacation Bible School last week at church and I was the director.  It has kept me really busy the last 6 weeks.  Because of working full-time, I've had to work on VBS stuff at night and on the weekends.  Which has meant late nights and oversleeping most mornings.  Plus during VBS it meant waaaayyy to many cookies.  I am a cookie monster.  I am also a stress eater, so both of these have kept me eating more than normal.

I have not gotten on the scales in the last month, but I will do that tomorrow to get me at a starting point again.  Not looking forward to it at all.

Found me a new product that i really like....Blender Bottle.  I got it from Sam's Club - 2 in a pack for $12.  It's basically a shaker bottle but the neat thing about this bottle is after you put your ingredients in the bottle, it comes with a ball shaped whisk that you just drop right in the bottle.  While you are shaking the bottle, the whisk is working the shake into a nice mixture.  This morning before I left the house I put 2 scoops of Vi-Shape and one teaspoon of SF, FF Butterscotch pudding in my bottle.  I stopped on the way to work and got some skim milk.  At lunch time, I just poured some milk right in bottle and shook it up.  After shaking, I did go back and add a few pieces of ice and shook it some more.  I didn't like it as good as fixing it my blender with lots of ice at home, but I can do it this way for lunch time!

Last night my husband and I made us a "menu" for the week.  Hopefully this will slow us down some on the fast food restaurants for supper.  I did give us one night to go out to eat (we like to have a "date night") and even went ahead and wrote the name of where I want to go on that night.  As long as he and I can both stick to the menu, things will be getting better.  It was really hard having a shake for supper and him eating food. I am going to try having a shake at lunch and see how that works!!

I haven't been going to the gym in the evenings or getting up and walking in the morning.....going to definitely work on changing that this week too.  I know that I have to take it all in baby steps (the shakes, blogging regularly, & exercise) or I will just keep doing what I always do - get fed up and tired of it all and just quit it all over again.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.  I am going to do this, I am going to do this, I am going to do this!!

In June, I set a goal to lose 20 pounds by my birthday, which is in one month, and I know that there's no way I can make that goal now.  I've got 4 weeks, so I am going to shoot for 6 pounds and 10 inches.  I think that is feasible.

Time for me to get back to work....till the next rest stop!!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Week 1 Results

I know, I have already have a post titled Week 1 results, but since I took a monthly long hiatus, it's week one again.......

I'm down 2.5 pounds!!!!!

Collectively between the bust, waist, and hips I lost an inch, but the thigh and arm combined for an inch gain....so overall no inches lost this week.

In the last post, I told you how down and out I have been feeling and I can already see a turn-around in my attitude and the way I feel about myself.  Despite not getting enough sleep last night, I feel really good this morning and even have make-up on!!  I know, you are probably thinking, what's the big deal about having make-up on, well here goes.....I have never been one that had to be all dolled up...I'm most comfortable in a pair of blue jeans, cute shirt, & a ball cap, with my make-up on.  I am also one that is usually 20-30 minutes early for work, but since I have gained weight and felt "frumpy" that hasn't been the case....I have not been wearing my make-up or fixing my hair for that matter, and I haven't been early for work at all....I would say at least 4 days a week I am 5-10 minutes late for work.  Today, I wasn't as early as I normally am, but I was 5 minutes early.  I didn't get up to go walking this morning because it was so late when I went to bed, but despite not getting enough sleep, I really do feel good....very upbeat and positive today.  I can do this, I will do this, and I am going to do this!!!

Several weeks ago, I made a deal with myself...I had to lose 10 pounds to get my hair cut....but I gained 6 pounds.  I have made myself a rewards chart several times, but never reaped a single reward....I guess I had it set too high.  So I am going to do my rewards in increments of 8 this time.  My ninth reward will be GOAL!!  My first reward is going to be getting my eyebrows waxed....which desperately need to be done.  So when I am 5.5 pounds lighter than where I am currently at they get done!!!  Baby steps, baby steps!  My birthday is in 10 weeks, so I am setting myself a mini goal of 20 pounds by then.  I know that every week will not have a loss and some weeks the loss will be less than others, so if I need to adjust it a little I will, but I think I can do it!!  Help keep my on track!!

Let's rock on out!!  Much love to all!!!

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Complete Overhaul

As you can tell, it's been a while since I have posted, so you know that means I haven't been following my Visalus and have gained weight.....6 pounds and 2.25 inches to be exact.

I really had a major epiphany tonight and hopefully this is just what I needed.  While at my aunt and uncle's house, in shorts, I noticed how long the hair on my legs was (gross, I know), but the truth of the matter is, that has become the norm for me.  I know with the weight gain I have become a little bit depressed, but at the same time, I have quit taking care of me because I just didn't feel like I deserved it.  I have only been shaving my legs about every 2 weeks, (again, gross, I know), but it's reality, I haven't been wearing any makeup or fixing my hair, I never wear any jewelry, or take time to make sure I look nice when I get dressed.  I feel frumpy, therefore, I have become frumpy.  I know I deserve better, but I also know that Aaron deserves better.  I was doing so well with getting up in the morning and going walking/running but it didn't take long before that stopped.  If it means that I have to drink a whole bottle of water before going to bed at night, so that I have to get up and pee and that will make go walking in the morning, then dammit that's what I am going to do.  The only way that my body is going to change is if my mind and heart changes.  I have to tell myself that it is occasionally ok to have a cheeseburger, but having one for lunch one day doesn't mean having a cheeseburger, french fries, and a milkshake the next day and the day after that and the day after that, etc.  You get the picture.  But that has been my reality, but right now starts a new reality.  Each and every day is a new day and yesterday's choices and decisions will not affect today's.  And that new reality and new day starts now!!

I just took a long shower, complete with shaving my legs.  Afterwards I did something I haven't done in a long time, but need to be doing everyday....putting lotion on!  I know, that seems insignificant to most, but it really is major to me.  I deserve to have lotion on my legs and arms no matter what my weight is or what I have eaten that day!  I deserve to be and feel beautiful about myself and I am the only one that can change that mindset!

With all that said.....it's time to go drink a whole bottle of water and an Advil so I can get up in the morning to go pee and then go walk/run.

Much love and hopefully this overhauled engine will keep on going!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Week 2 Results & Updates

Week Two Results are in (I think I am on some kind of trend)......

Down .7 of a pound and .75 inches

Been suffering from PMS this week, which left me really bloated.  I would have lost more inches if not for that...I actually gained half of an inch in my waist, but lost everywhere else.  Yes that gain is reflected in the above number.  Week 2 was not consistent as far as shakes go.  I am really dreading week 3 numbers.

Can't remember if I told you in the last couple of weeks that I was planning a surprise 50th birthday party for Mama....well it was Saturday and despite needing a few more hours in the day to get ready, it went really great.  Mama said she really enjoyed herself.  Aaron and his dad have worked really hard getting the yard ready - the party was in our backyard.  I have been out there with them after work and we all went non-stop Saturday from  7 in the morning until 10:30 that night.  I am still recovering today....my body is really achy and sore.  Still dealing with a little bit of the PMS this week.  On top of the party - Sheri was on vacation last week, which meant I had her job plus mine to do all week.  Can you say tired and exhausted?!?!?!  With everything that was going on, I didn't do so very well with the shakes.  Most nights we were stopping thru drive-thrus or picking up pizza for supper and I was a lazy bones in the morning and didn't get up in enough time to fix a shake.  That's not counting the 3 pieces of cake and nutter butter banana pudding I had yesterday.  Half of the cake was left at my house, plus the banana pudding that Jan made Aaron and an Orange-Pineapple Cake from Aunt Shelby.   And that's not counting all of the Pepsi and Sweet Tea that I have been inhaling. 

I know mentally that I have done bad this past week, but I can tell it physically too....my jeans are getting too tight - not a good thing.  After being bad at lunch (disgusting burger from Hardee's) I'm drinking my water as hard as I can now.   Despite being tired, I'm hoping that Aunt Linda can go with me to the gym tonight....hopefully getting in the pool will work out some of the kinks in my muscles and joints.  Guess I better get back to work and continue counting down the minutes until 5.

See ya down the road.....