Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Stumbling Blocks

Is it just me or is 2014 flying by way too fast?!?!?  I knew that it had been a while since I have posted, but I had no idea it has been 3.5 months.  Here's a quick catch up of what's been going on:
   *At the end of January, Dr Knuckles took me off carbs.  Trying to get all the blood work back in normal levels and get my body ready to fight to get pregnant.  It's been a tough journey and really hard, but we are getting there.  I went last week to get blood work done again, I am down 12 pounds in the last 3 months and have had to come off of my blood pressure medicine because it has dropped.  I go back next week to get the results.
   *I had an HSG in February and it shows no blockages in my tubes.  Aaron has to get tested next.  Once we get past that if we aren't pregnant in a year, then she is going to go in and check for sterility on me.
   *We are having some tough go of things at church, but we are working thru them.  It's been tough and we have been tremendously hurt in the process, but we are standing steadfast and firm in the truth.  If anything, it has brought Aaron and I closer.  Just when I think we are as close as two married people can be, the Lord just shows us more and more that He made us for each other.
   *It has not been a good few months health wise.  We both got the flu in February.  I was out of work a week and half.  Had to go to the hospital after a week because I could not breathe or walk - was severely dehydrated.  It honestly took me until the middle of April for me to get back to feeling like me.

I went thru a spell beginning in February where I didn't want to read to my Bible, or my Bible Study Book, or honestly do much of anything.  I felt like my spiritual well had dried up.  There was no desire, no motivation - I was just blank and empty. I quit going to my Bible Study.  I needed time to work on me.  Well instead of working on me, I just sank deeper and deeper.  Maybe that is why things have happened the way they have, if for no other reason than to reinvigorate me and pull me up.  I am getting there, I am not fully there yet, not even halfway there, but I am slowly starting to hear the Lord speak to me again.  I will get there, I BELIEVE in it. 

Coming back today and rereading the last post has also been an eye opener.  In losing everything else, I also lost "Believe", but I have it back!!  What lead me back today, was my devotional email from Proverbs 31.  It was by Shelene Baker and was about saying yes to God and letting Him lead you on an adventure.  Have I truly been following God?  Have I truly stepped forward when He asked me to?  Have I jumped out of total belief knowing that He is there?  It really woke me up and I will be ordering the book "Love Skip Jump".  I have one of those perpetual calendars on my desk with a daily verse and today's verse goes so perfectly with everything that I have been experiencing.  "As for God, His way is perfect." Psalm 18:30.

Here is the prayer that was at the end of that devotional:

Lord, help me recognize Your voice when You call. Help me recognize Your trustworthy character and trust that You have my best interests in mind. Burn into my heart the desire to do the tasks You want me to accomplish for You. Give me the strength and courage to take the first step toward what You want me to do. In His Name, Amen.

I know some of this has been heavy, so I am going to leave you with that prayer.  Know that with God all things are possible.  Believe in it!!  

Love and Prayers!!!