WHY DO I DEMAND PERFECTION?!?!?!?!
The book that my Ladie's Bible Study is currently going thru is "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World". I never realized how much I need this study until tonight....
What happened you ask?
Well....One of the things on my agenda for today was to take the Christmas tree down and get the living room back set up like it was. Well, all Christmas long, I have wanted a picture of Dixie in front of the Christmas tree. Actually, the whole time that we have been married I have wanted a picture of the 3 of us in front of the tree, but it never happens. Well tonight, it was just Dixie and I at the house & without Aaron here to distract her, I just new it was the perfect (there goes that word) time to do it. Well, I take her regular necklace (collar) off and put her Christmas bell necklace on and try to get her to sit in front of the tree. It took a whole lot to get her to stay there, but she wouldn't give me that perfect look. So what do I do? I lost it. When I say I lost it, I mean I really lost it. I started screaming and hollering and yes, I will admit it, I even cussed at her. Why? Because she wouldn't give me the perfection, that I demanded.
That really got me thinking. Why do I demand perfection of others? And I know that I do. Everything is supposed to be how my mind thinks it should be. I don't allow room for mistakes, I want everything absolutely perfect. And when it's not, I lose it. Why? All it does it gets me upset and gets everyone around me upset.
In between the tears it really got me thinking, why do I demand perfection of others, when I don't do my best to be and give perfection to those around me. There is only one perfect person in this world & He doesn't demand perfection. He demands love, but not perfection. He wants to try to be perfect in building a relationship with Him, but I always put Him on the back burner and give Him the little snippets & scraps I have left at the end of the day.
I know that I am wrong. One of my focus goals for the year, is to try to quit being so hard on others - to realize that I don't give perfection of myself to others & I can't demand something of them that I'm not in turn giving to them. I need a calmer heart. I need a heart that is ready to accept others flaws, mistakes, and mishaps. Please pray along with me that God will guide my heart into this direction while at the same time He demands perfection of me in my time and relationship with Him.
Today has been a choppy ride, but hopefully there will be some days of smoother sailing up ahead. Much love to you and yours!!